How she can be an asset in marriage depends on how you treat her in the relationship.
I think I should enlighten my brothers over this issue of wanting their girlfriend to be a product of ASSET when they never trained her to be one. I know some ladies won't be happy about this. It's a fact they have to accept and adhere to.
Now listen...
The reward of greatness is responsibility..... So,
Dear caring Brother,
Please do not give her money all the time. Do not give her the impression that you can sort her finances anytime she needs it. Train her not to depend on you in marriage, and the right time to start is now, while you're still dating.
It is okay to tell her you don't have money, even when you do. It is okay to tell her you can't help out right now because your money is tied up in one saving scheme, just so you can teach her to farm for herself and find a way out of that bad financial situation on her own. It is not being stingy or tight-handed, it is training her to know that in marriage there are responsibilities that will come at us that we have not planned or prepared for, and you need to know that even as the provider she needs to cut her own end and cover for you. Do not teach her to always run to you for her needs, also teach her the power of standing on her own.
Most times when you are out with your babe girl you intentionally let her pay the taxi fare, you have cash, you can say "don't worry love, i will cover it", but No, most times you look away when it is time to pay the fare, and you let her pay with her own cash, silently encouraging her to carry the financial weight as well, now I guess she knows that it is not possible for you both to hangout without her coming out with her purse, because you are going to order the pizza and look away when it is time to pay.
Look uncle, it is okay to tip her before the hangout, say "Dear, can you cover the popcorn and drinks while I buy the movie tickets?". It's totally Okay, for two people overflowing with kind words and understanding. There is nothing wrong with joking about her covering the taxi fare while you pay for the dinner, always leave her with a financial responsibility each time you're out, or each time you're handling a project or something together. I hope a brother out here is catching this?
Don't try and be all gentleman and sweet, don't shoulder all alone even when you're capable, let her feel some weight, teach her not to leave home without her purse, teach her not to depend on you. Sad to say but there are wives today who depend on their husbands for tithe, some even Sunday offerings, when it is time to dip into the offering basket she looks at her husband, all because he has trained her to come running to him for her every need.
Here's the hard truth brothers, we are all going to have a flourishing marriage, oh yes we will, and I know this because it is God's promise to His children, and because He has said it, it is the confidence we have. But It is Gods right to get you the right partner, it is your right to secure, train and keep them as expected of you by God. Because, there are going to be times when bills, rents, children's fees, employees salaries, and other miscellaneous expenses that you have not budgeted for will drain out all your financial energy, at these times, you will need a wife with a strong independent financial mentality to cover for you according to her capacity, not one who you have encouraged to come running to you.
Do like the mother eagle, sometimes let her flap her wings in the air until she learns how to fly on her own, and some times when you see that she's about to hit the ground, stoop low and catch her. Let her flap, let her swing, teach her to chase, create in her the mentality that she can surprise you with a bank credit alert as well, train her to know that you can also run to her when you have financial emergencies. God is counting on you to make the best out of the woman He has entrusted into your care.
You ladies also need to know this,
A lot of you have the notion of "he's marrying me so he should shoulder all the responsibilities". A relationship becomes sweet when both handle the responsibilities. Even if you don't want to handle the major ones, the little ones..the minor ones are fine. You go for shopping, after spending a lot on you, you will still be waiting for him to pay the T.fare? Its not right, these little things we overlook counts. Even if he's not going to like it make an effort first. A lot of ladies demanding respect, when you do these things, you indirectly win over his heart and earn his respect as well. Its not all about collecting, try contributing the little you can as well.
I hope you guys get this???
Feel free to share!
Use WiSDOM!
©Samson Crown
Now listen...
The reward of greatness is responsibility..... So,
Dear caring Brother,
Please do not give her money all the time. Do not give her the impression that you can sort her finances anytime she needs it. Train her not to depend on you in marriage, and the right time to start is now, while you're still dating.
It is okay to tell her you don't have money, even when you do. It is okay to tell her you can't help out right now because your money is tied up in one saving scheme, just so you can teach her to farm for herself and find a way out of that bad financial situation on her own. It is not being stingy or tight-handed, it is training her to know that in marriage there are responsibilities that will come at us that we have not planned or prepared for, and you need to know that even as the provider she needs to cut her own end and cover for you. Do not teach her to always run to you for her needs, also teach her the power of standing on her own.
Also read here
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having woman in your life would not stop you from achieving your goals
Most times when you are out with your babe girl you intentionally let her pay the taxi fare, you have cash, you can say "don't worry love, i will cover it", but No, most times you look away when it is time to pay the fare, and you let her pay with her own cash, silently encouraging her to carry the financial weight as well, now I guess she knows that it is not possible for you both to hangout without her coming out with her purse, because you are going to order the pizza and look away when it is time to pay.
Look uncle, it is okay to tip her before the hangout, say "Dear, can you cover the popcorn and drinks while I buy the movie tickets?". It's totally Okay, for two people overflowing with kind words and understanding. There is nothing wrong with joking about her covering the taxi fare while you pay for the dinner, always leave her with a financial responsibility each time you're out, or each time you're handling a project or something together. I hope a brother out here is catching this?
Don't try and be all gentleman and sweet, don't shoulder all alone even when you're capable, let her feel some weight, teach her not to leave home without her purse, teach her not to depend on you. Sad to say but there are wives today who depend on their husbands for tithe, some even Sunday offerings, when it is time to dip into the offering basket she looks at her husband, all because he has trained her to come running to him for her every need.
Here's the hard truth brothers, we are all going to have a flourishing marriage, oh yes we will, and I know this because it is God's promise to His children, and because He has said it, it is the confidence we have. But It is Gods right to get you the right partner, it is your right to secure, train and keep them as expected of you by God. Because, there are going to be times when bills, rents, children's fees, employees salaries, and other miscellaneous expenses that you have not budgeted for will drain out all your financial energy, at these times, you will need a wife with a strong independent financial mentality to cover for you according to her capacity, not one who you have encouraged to come running to you.
Do like the mother eagle, sometimes let her flap her wings in the air until she learns how to fly on her own, and some times when you see that she's about to hit the ground, stoop low and catch her. Let her flap, let her swing, teach her to chase, create in her the mentality that she can surprise you with a bank credit alert as well, train her to know that you can also run to her when you have financial emergencies. God is counting on you to make the best out of the woman He has entrusted into your care.
You ladies also need to know this,
A lot of you have the notion of "he's marrying me so he should shoulder all the responsibilities". A relationship becomes sweet when both handle the responsibilities. Even if you don't want to handle the major ones, the little ones..the minor ones are fine. You go for shopping, after spending a lot on you, you will still be waiting for him to pay the T.fare? Its not right, these little things we overlook counts. Even if he's not going to like it make an effort first. A lot of ladies demanding respect, when you do these things, you indirectly win over his heart and earn his respect as well. Its not all about collecting, try contributing the little you can as well.
I hope you guys get this???
Feel free to share!
Use WiSDOM!
©Samson Crown
This is absolutely rubbish coming from a guys perspective. I should tell her I don't have money even when i have. Isn't that lying??or I should take my face away when we about to pay for taxi!!!! This is rubbish. Communication is key in all relationship!! Talk to her about it not lying
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteHmmmmn.. We do understand your views.. The post isn't encouraging lying and looking away isn't a problem but trying to send a message that you want her to pay. Would you always tell her to pay the taxi money before she does? Your mom can tell you she doesnt have money even when you know she has. This is not to say she's lying but indirectly telling you to fund it yourself. Looking away or telling her you don't have cash even when she knows you have sends a message that you want her to pay. This would not always happen but to let her know she have to always hold her wallet with her when you are both going out. Telling her about it, like you saying she should always hold her wallet with her or telling her to pay the taxi man or she paying for the drinks publicly isn't proper. It's like you imposing. Looking away is like a body language which can be regard as a means of communication as well. Don't read the post with the impression of you lying, try to understand the message it is trying to pass across.
DeleteYou’re doing abosolutely great... I did learn, financial responsibility
ReplyDeleteGod bless you Sir... You are welcome
DeleteKeep it up 💪 bro.
ReplyDeleteYou know sometimes I do think my Fiance didn't Just want to do some things for me. He usually say "am training you not to depend on me. It's not that I don't have but I want you to do things without running to me always. I want you to take responsibilities as well without depending on me".
With this which you have post I must say it's the real truth and only a man who loves his spouse will do this plus it takes wisdom for the spouse to understand this.
Keep the good work 👍 up bro.
You are welcome. You got the message!
Delete