"IT TAKES TWO TO FIGHT"
How to handle fights in a relationship. Read and Digest.
I remember few years ago when we had our first fight. It came out of nowhere that afternoon, I can't even remember what we were fighting for, temper were raised, hurtful words were traded, and neither of us held back to take caution. I was the chief fighter in the whole drama, lashing at her in anger witout considering the weight of my words, nothing seemed to be making sense to any of us at that moment besides the points we were trying so hard to prove to each other, and you know how woman can remember things for Africa. That day happens to be the first day I will yell at someone so hard because Im not always with the courage to shout when fighting.
After the drama she hardly said two words to me that day, our hearts heavy with pain. I knew i was wrong, totally my fault, plus i said too much in the fight, but i didn't apologize, oh yea i didnt, i was too proud mehn, you know how men have that little friction that opposes their ability to be humble before a woman? It's called "Ego", and it comes naturally. I kept my proud head so high, no call, no text, nothing! I did nothing to reach her, the whole day passed.
The next day I returned home from a program. To my surprise find my door open, and my keys were not under the doormat. Curiously i entered to see who got into my space without letting me know, and there she was! Lying on the couch fast asleep, with some nicely prepared jollof rice and fried plantain sitting pretty on d ground, with a juice to go with it, served like it was meant for a king, and beside it was a note that reads;
"HI DEAR, I AM SO TIRED, PLEASE DON'T WAKE ME UP. I KNOW YOU'RE HUNGRY, ENJOY."
To tell the truth, the plate of rice had already gone half way before I saw the note, i just descended on the delicious meal before somebody will just rush in and shout APRIL FOOL!! But after reading it i smiled like i was advertising for Pepsi, and the meat i was struggling to swallow refused to go down my throat. I was overwhelmed with guilt, i knew i was wrong, i knew i said too much, i knew i was too proud to apologize, but look what she did.
So i stooped down beside the couch, and whispered;
"DEAR, I am very sorry for starting the fight, and for all i said. I was stupid, and i was wrong, i promise not to be too proud to apologize again, you av taught me a lesson on peace and humility I will never forget."
Turns out she was only pretending to be asleep, probably waiting for me to start a season2 of our fight, or humble myself and apologize. All she wanted to hear were those sincere magic words "I AM SORRY".. I sat down when home alone and think of what I could do to show that I was really sorry so I decide to take one of her favourite picture that I av with me, drew her and go to her apartment to hang it on the wall when she wasn't around. I was able to do that because she kept her spear key with me. When she saw it she was filled with happiness and that was how we ended the fight.
The point am trying to make you understand is; she took permission to let alone her room mate in the house , dashed to the market with her own cash, came to my apartment, made me a meal, and waited for me to come home and be the man she love and like so much. Well, that shows how determined she was to make peace no matter who was wrong, how willing she was able to sacrifice, and how committed she was to make my friendship with her work. And if you ask me, i would say all of this shows that she was the one who apologized to me first without saying a word, she had already forgiven me before all the story telling apology i gave her beside the couch, I wasn't a superman for apologizing when i did, she was the SUPERWOMAN for making an effort towards peace despite the fact that we were just close friends wanting to date each other. She was actually a materialistic woman. This was actually the meaning of the song a popular artiste known as wande coal sang "SUPERWOMAN".
Please understand this guys, no relationship or marriage is rosy, there will be fights and disagreements a lot of times, but your greatest strength lies in how quickly you deal with those challenges. You don't need to start using insulting words on him or her for it shows how untrained and crazy you could be.
Do you stay a week without callin or texting?
Do you spend months in malice trying to prove who was right and who was wrong?
Do you ignore each others calls and efforts towards peace because of unforgiveness?
Do you accept your wrongs when being pointed out or you failed to admit pointing out the reasons why you won't apologise?
Is there a reward for proving who was right?
YOU MAY ALSO CHECK
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You Are The Reason Your Relationship Fails If You Do This Single Thing.
Certainly not! Why not be the first to apologize even if you were the last one to curse, that is the first and most important step to dealing with a fight. You shouldn't decide not to call because your partner didn't. It not gonna help the situation at all.
And always remember this truths;
Never take your partner's apologies for granted, do not take advantage of their forgiving spirit, humbleness and meekness, do all you can to avoid apologizing, this means that you have to do all you can to stay right by each other. Accept your mistakes and never repeat them. When you fail to accept your wrong, you will continue to do it which will continuously lead to a fight.
Do not do wrong and expect them to always understand and take you in everytime, too many apologies kills trust, a heart that always understands eventually gets tired.
I hope you've learnt something good from this? Kindly comment, like and share for others to learn. God bless.
Use WiSDOM!
©SamsonCrown.
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